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VIEWING 1 - 9 OUT OF 28 BLOGS.
A mans viewpoint of marriage
DATE: 04/02/2007 00:40:40 / MOOD: in love
A Man's Viewpoint of Marriage
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (A life sentence!!!)
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Marriage is an institution. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two .... under the man's eyes.
6. Marriage certificate is just another name for a work permit.
7. Marriage is not just having a wife but also worries inherited forever.
8. Marriage requires a man to prepare 5 types of "RINGS" :a) The Engagement Ringb) The Wedding Ringc) The SufferingRingd) The EnduringRinge) The TorturingRing
9. Married life is full of excitment and frustration:-In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.-In the second year, the women speaks and the man listens.-In the THIRD year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.
10. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definetly an eye-opener.
11. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends...You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
12. It's true; all men are born free and equal - but some of them get married.
13. There was this man who muttered a few mords in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
14. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and his wife takes.
15. Son : How much does it cost to get married , Dad?Dad : I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.Son : Is it true, Dad, that I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries ?Dad : That happens everywhere, son. EVERYWHERE.16. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was until I got married .. and then it was too late !!"
17. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
18. They say that when a man holds a woman hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.
19. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
20. There was this lover who told his love that he would go through hell for her. They got married - and now he is going through HELL !
21. Marriage is like a besieged castle - those on the outside want to get in,and those on the inside want to get out.
22. A man is not complete until he marries - after that he is finished.
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If men were in charge of planning weddings
DATE: 04/02/2007 00:38:14 / MOOD: in love
There would be less "Oh Promise Me" and "Endless Love," and more "Louie, Louie" and "Mony Mony".
There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" Party.
Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.June Weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically but omit that "forsaking all others" part.The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or some other Mopar with racing tires and flame designs on the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!Idiots that tried to dance with the Bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.Big slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".There would be "Tailgate Receptions".Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at half-time or between innings.Ceremonies would be short and Honeymoons would be long.Ceremonies and Honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the Bachelor Party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.Men wouldn't ask...."Well, what do you think, Dear, The Burgundy or the Wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their local pub or tavern.Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink passes at the local lounge.The brides dress would show cleavage, her navel and be form fitted to her ass.Instead of a sit down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.No one would bother with that "Veil Routine". But they would insist the garter be as high up on her leg as it would go.The bridal bouquet could be recycled from a previous funeral or something.
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Email from god
DATE: 03/30/2007 23:53:42 / MOOD: in love
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So, hecalled one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not." God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had bettersend down a second angel to get another opinion."So, God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline;95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."God was not pleased. So, He decided to email the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them Give them a little something to help them keep going.Do you know what the email said?> > *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *> *Just wondering. I didn't get one either.
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in need of advice... : )
DATE: 03/30/2007 23:38:14 / MOOD: confused
So i was on the phone today with one of my bridesmaids and she informed me that she might be preggo... I think that is awesome dont get me wrong... but along with the news I got this.
"So... if im pregnant, I think im am going to need to get a different dress then all the other girls"
Now when we were trying on dresses and the conversation of her becoming pregnant came up i had told her we would just get the "bridesmaid" dress that I have chosen for everyone altered so it would fit her and "support" a pregnant girl. Or that she could wait till last minute and just order a bigger dress.
My sister is my maid of honor and she is the only one of my bridesmaids that I want in a different style dress as some of you seen in my pics I posted. If I allow the preggo girl to get a different dress it in a way defeats my purpose of having my sister stand out as that special person.
What should I do?
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Perspectives
DATE: 03/27/2007 00:37:56 / MOOD: in love
One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?" "It was great, Dad." "Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked. "Oh yeah," said the son."So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father The son answered: "I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them." The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are." Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!
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Battle of the sexes
DATE: 03/22/2007 03:18:40 / MOOD: in love
Battle of the Sexes...
(Man)I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier."I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
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New Credit Card Scam
DATE: 03/22/2007 03:12:24 / MOOD: in love
New Credit Card Scam This one is pretty slick since they provide YOU with all the information, except the one piece they want. Note, the callers do not ask for your card number; they already have it. This information is worth reading. By understanding how the VISA & MasterCard Telephone Credit Card Scam works, you'll be better prepared to protect yourself. One of our employees was called on Wednesday from "VISA", and I was called on Thursday from "Master Card".The scam works like this: Person calling says, "This is (name), and I'm calling from the Security and Fraud Department at VISA. My Badge number is 12460. Your card has been flagged for an unusual purchase pattern, and I'm calling to verify. This would be on your VISA card which was issued by (name of bank). Did you purchase an Anti-Telemarketing Device for $497.99 from a Marketing company based in Arizona?" When you say "No", the caller continues with, "Then we will be issuing a credit to your account. This is a company we have been watching and the charges range from $297 to $497, just under the $500 purchase pattern that flags most cards. Before your next statement, the credit will be sent to (gives you your address), is that correct?" You say "yes". The caller continues - "I will be starting a Fraud investigation. If you have any questions, you should call the 1- 800 number listed on the back of your card (1-800-VISA) and ask for Security. You will need to refer to this Control Number. The caller then gives you a 6 digit number. "Do you need me to read it again?"Here's the IMPORTANT part on how the scam works. The caller then says, "I need to verify you are in possession of your card". He'll ask you to "turn your card over and look for some numbers". ; There are 7 numbers; the first 4 are part of your card number, the next 3 are the security Numbers' that verify you are the possessor of the card. These are the numbers you sometimes use to make Internet purchases to prove you have the card. The caller will ask you to read the 3 numbers to him. After you tell the caller the 3 numbers, he'll say, "That is correct, I just needed to verify that the card has not been lost or stolen, and that you still have your card. Do you have any other questions?" After you say No, the caller then thanks you and states, "Don't hesitate to call back if you do", and hangs up. You actually say very little, and they never ask for or tell you the Card number. But after we were called on Wednesday, we called back within 20 minutes to ask a question. Are we glad we did! The REAL VISA S ecurity Department told us it was a scam and in the last 15 minutes a new purchase of $497.99 was charged to our card. Long story - short - we made a real fraud report and closed the VISA account. VISA is reissuing us a new number. What the scammers want is the 3-digit PIN number on the back of the card. Don't give it to them. Instead, tell them you'll call VISA or Master card directly for verification of their conversation. The real VISA told us that they will never ask for anything on the card as they already know the information since they issued the card! If you give the scammers your 3 Digit PIN Number, you think you're receiving a credit. However, by the time you get your statement you'll see charges for purc hases you didn't make, and by then it's almost too late and/or more difficult to actually file a fraud report. What makes this more remarkable is that on Thursday, I got a call from a "Jason Richardson of Master Card" with a word-for-word repeat of the VISA scam. This time I didn't let him finish. I hung up! We filed a police report, as instructed by VISA. The police said they are taking several of these reports daily! They also urged us to tell everybody we know that this scam is happening. Please pass this on to all your family and friends. By informing each other, we protect each other.
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For you married women
DATE: 03/19/2007 01:08:13 / MOOD: in love
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?""Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:"Husband Wanted"Next day she received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing:"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no betterrevenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then sheis finished.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much doesit cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in someparts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew whatreal happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every wordyou say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinkingthey had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him,and for Patience for his moods.Because Lord,if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.
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Kissing Facts
DATE: 03/19/2007 01:07:37 / MOOD: in love
People with crooked teeth usually KiSS BETTER than people with straight teeth ..
-- When you chew gum before you kiss,, it actually makes your breath SMELL WORSE than before because of your salivary glands ..
Mints work MUCH better.
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